Days in the Life of a Monster

Alex and i are coming to Dallas!

December 26th
leaving San Jose at 1 40 pm
arriving in Dallas at 7 05 pm

December 30th
leaving Dallas at 7 55 am
arriving in San Jose at 12 05 pm

if you're confused about why San Jose, it's because Alex's parents live there, and it's cheaper to fly out.

so, you'll have three full days to see me and Alex. most of it will probably be dominated by family stuff, but i'm sure we can squeeze all y'all in at some point ;)

-my mom might have told some of you that i had a job at Quizno's. i got it in august, and left about a week ago. not a day could pass without someone feeling the need to insult me, and surprisingly, it wasn't the customers. the customers were great and nice most of the time. but i just wasn't good enough for the managers. one guy, Mau, is the kind of guy who thinks everyone speaks spanish, so he would constantly speak in spanish to me, and only one other employee speaks it. he would also always tell me to go faster, and would take over whatever i was doing if i wasn't doing it fast enough. Keith, the other manager, didn't think i was good enough either. he told me once, "you're as slow as you were on your first day!" which was a lie. i know i improved. he also stopped me from doing the dishes one day, because he wanted me to use the brush instead of the sponge, and i was washing too slow. Keith left a meat residue on those dishes that stayed after they dried.

on my last day, an employee left out some meat near the marinade, and since i was making a prime rib, i thought she was doing me a favor. but when i put the meat on the sandwich and passed it through the oven, she stormed over and yelled, "how could you confuse roast beef with prime rib!?" so we got into it and Keith took her side, and told me to go outside. i knew that meant that, for the fourth day in a row, i would be walking up and down the street in an inflatable cup. they obviously didn't need me, so i quit, after Keith yelled at me for forgetting what goes on the brisket sandwich and for not asking him(but every time i would ask him, he would say, "how long have you been working here?" or, "didn't you study the sandwich chart?"), for wearing the wrong color pants that morning(it's either black or khaki, but i had worn brown pants before and he never said anything), and said they didn't need me anyway. so i left. it was very liberating(after i got over the shakes).

that afternoon(this was Monday the 18th, by the way), i had an interview with the local theater. i got that job, and there's a training session on saturday the 30th. however, i also had an interview with Game Crazy, Hollywood Video's game store, which is a few stores down from Quizno's. they said they'd call me on friday the 22nd, but they haven't. i'll be calling them later, because i would LOVE to work there, especially since it's full-time. i'll let y'all know about that one.

-i have kitten fever something awful. Alex and i were watching Zaboomafoo(it's a kid's animal show on PBS. yeah, we watch it), and they had fox kits and coyote puppies. we really want animals, puppies and kittens, but we can't have dogs here, so we really want cats right now. and Alex warming up to the idea of two cats; with two adults who are away full time most days, i don't want one cat to be lonely. i really want kittens, but i want to make sure they'll like each other as adults, so i'm considering adopting a pair that has to be adopted together. we want to wait until after our Christmas visit to get a cat or two, because:

a) we can't take them with us to Alex's because his dad is allergic
b) cats on a plane? no thanks
c) boarding is expensive!
d) i want to save all i can before we get cats. i've got about $1200 right now, and if i get this Game Crazy job, the full time money should do very well for a better cushion than 1 month's rent.

so, if we can just get through the next three months surviving off the animal fixes we'll get from his parents and Miko and Evie and Dusty in December, we can get our own in January. yay!

-i need a new computer really bad. this one is so old and slow...poor thing. i want an eMac(which Mac doesn't make anymore, but they sell refurbs and you can find them on eBay). but i want a kitten or two more, so that'll need to be put off.

-i signed up for two Menu Mailer 3 month trials from the lady at savingdinner.com. every week, i get 11 recipies(5 dinners, 6 crock pots) plus lots of breakfast and lunch ideas. they have healthy options(one of the mailers is actually a diet mailer) every recipe, and all the ones we've had so far are so good. it makes me very happy, because Alex used to have a huge burrito and just eat on that all day. awful, huh? he said recently that he hasn't eaten so well in all the time he's been here. it's awesome. so i'm writing down all the good ones on notecards and saving them. woo!

that's about it for now. long read, probably. get used to it :D

welcome to...



before i let you in, lemme tell you something. the pictures with the number 2 after the titles are pictures of the apartment the way it is now. i posted a few before pictures just for shits and giggles.

(come inside?)

and because we have no new pictures, a couple of ( my favorites. )

how many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

...

let's ride bikes!

(i got a bike today. it is red and i love it! yay transportation! next on the list: get approved for apartment, get address changed, and send out address-change cards)

i have an apartment!! SWEEEEEET. i'll be sending my new address to the following people:

Grandmother and Grandfather
Grandma and Grandpa
Mom and Dad
Trinity
Richelle
Ed and Ashley

i'm considering sending my address to:
Alison(so she can distribute to whoever else in our circle of friends wants my address)
Karlee

two cards left. gotta figure out who to send those to. prolly save one for Alex's parents.

umm...oh. got some boxes today, including a ginormous wardrobe box. gonna fit as many clothes as possible in there, plus blankets at the bottom, and hangers. Mom got four large boxes, one of which will be for bubble-wrapped dishes, but i dunno what the other three are for since i already have 18 boxes from work O.o oh well.

tomorrow, i'm gonna top coat some furniture and hopefully assemble that wardrobe box and start putting clothes in it. but now, it's time to sleep.

yes! CD storage is the only thing i need! awesome. i got everything on my list today...so great.

deciding to get pots and pans somewhere other than IKEA, because i'd rather pay a little more for non-stick. Target has some well-priced sets...3 pots, a dutch oven, and 2 skillets for $70.

Target also has cheap bath mats and towels. IKEA bathroom stuff sucks *chuckles* but i figure we need two more towels(so we each have two) and i need a beach towel.

( Read more... )

all the things under the cut, if i get them at a 10% discount from the IKEA sale(it's 10%-50%, and i KNOW the futon in the catalog is $50 cheaper than the one in the picture), should cost me $300, with the exception of the table and desk lamps, but they won't be too much more. getting a couple bath towels and bathroom mats won't be either. Alex is buying the mattress and box springs and probably the pots. i'll probably have to help with the mattress, but i might just suck at looking for them, cuz i'm finding ones that are outrageously expensive. we'd be better off getting a Select Comfort for those prices. we'll see, i guess.

things are falling into place ^_^ it's so exciting!

Mom's paying for all my moving expenses. best graduation present EVER ^__^ i've got $2100 saved, and i should have at least $500 more by July. i need to get my babysitting money from Joysanna, so i'll probably write down all i know and tell her what she owes me tomorrow or the day after. she owes me at least $300, so i'll have almost $3000 by July! how awesome ^_^

this weekend, i'm going to IKEA to get all i can fit into the car *laughs* i need:

two torch lamps for the living room
two table lamps for the bedroom
two desk lamps for our desks(but i think those can wait)
pots
dishes
knife set
futon(i'm going to look into how much that'll cost to order from the catalog and have shipped to the apartment)
a couple towels

that's all i can think of right now.

my tenative moving date is July 6th! it'll take us 3 days to get there, or 4 if Mom wants to spend more time with Aunt Mary and Unkie Kevin. then Mom and Mischa are gonna stay in SB for 3 or 4 days, and then they'll be gone. Mom's finally decided to use movers, so we don't have to worry about loading and unloading and hauling a truck, so all we have to do is assemble! things are falling into place! now all we need is the apartment!

this is probably the most useful thing i got from my logic class. since i got it from logic, it can be a little lecturey and repetitive at times, but i like it.

1) CLEAR THE TABLE. Often old, unfinished, irrelevant buisness gets in the way of new negotiation. The issues then become cloudy and tempers rise. Sometimes negotiation and conflict resolution sessions occur much later than they should. As a result, old resentments have built up and get in the way of open communication. Before a conflict resolution session begins, it is sometimes helpful to have a preliminary "dumping session" in which the past angers and resentments of both parties are aired and expressed. In such a session, it is important that you not be defensive nor self-preserving. Simply listen carefully and let the other get his or her angers and resentments out. Do not question either their validity or their truth.

2) RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN "BLIND SPOTS." Growing up is not easy. We all learned biases and prejudices which often hamper real negotiation. One of the greatest maxims of Socrates was, "know thyself," and this also becomes a great maxim in negotiation. Know that the psychological, sociological, and religious goggles you wear "color" the way you see the world. Hold, as Coleridge suggests, those biases, prejudices, and weaknesses "in willing suspension of disbelief" as you negotiate. Bracket them; keep them out of the picture as much as possible.

Don't let your prejudice of fat people, religious fanatics, people who carry umbrellas, people who don't drink, people who do drink, people who wear strong, cheap cologne, women with hair under their armpits, etc. get in your way. Also, don't let certain personality traits you may have(the need for quick closure, always having to be right, jumping to conclusions, etc.) interfere with your efforts.

Finally, there are often hidden sexual biases. Men are more logical than women; men are tougher than women and can take more criticism; women tend to be more feeling and caring than men, etc. It is also necessary to suspend these biases and false beliefs.

3) DON'T CONFUSE DISAGREEMENT OF DIFFERENCE OF OPINION WITH HOSTILITY. Recognize from the outset that people have different opinions and different attitudes. Accept these and do not think that because someone disagrees with you that he or she is attacking you personally. Learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Do not take everything that is said as a personal affront to yourself.

4) LISTEN CAREFULLY AND ACTIVELY. When Abraham Lincoln was practicing law, he once said that when in court he gave 20% of his thinking over to what he was going to say and 80% of his thinking over to what his opponent was going to say. We talk at a rate of 150-250 words per minute. If, while someone else is speaking, you are constantly thinking of your rebuttal or what you are going to say next, you may miss a great deal of what the other person is saying.

5) DON'T DWELL ON "FAIRNESS." Earl Koile, at the University of Texas in Austin, has a lecture on "junior high school justice." The gist of the lecture is that junior high school students are forever appealing to "the fairness" of a statement, a position, an argument, or an action. As adults, we are aware that the world is frequently unfair. We realize that fairness is seldom an overriding criterion for acting or making decisions.

6) STATE THE POSITION AND FEELINGS OF THE OTHER AS CLEARLY AND ACCURATELY AS POSSIBLE. Professor Hairston, at the University of Texas in Austin, instituted this rhetorical method. It was the first real new development in rhetoric in many years. Being the negotiating session by having each side state as clearly and unbaisedly as possible the opposing position. If a wife is arguing with her husband about disciplining children, she should state as clearly as possible what she understands her husband's position to be on the issue. He, in turn, should do the same, stating as clearly and fairly as possible what he understands his wife's position to be. Also acknowledge how the other feels about the issue. Summarize what you believe to be the feelings of the other. According to Hairston, we often find that resolution of a conflict may never need to go beyond this stage. We simply may have misunderstood or misread the position of the other, and no conflict may, in fact, exist at all.

7) GRANT THE REASONABLENESS OF THE OTHER'S POSITION AND ADMIT YOU AGREE WITH CERTAIN POINTS THE OTHER HAS MADE WELL. Sometimes attorneys, before a trial statrts, will meet privately and draw up a list of points about the case upon which they agree to agree. Such a proceedure saves the court time and is efficient. Do not nit-pick and argue every point simply because you are in an adversarial frame of mind. Do not "poison the wells" not commit the fallacy of opposition and assume, at the outset, that just because your opponent has made a atatement or used a certain train of logic that it is therefore, a priori, "unreasonable."

8) DON'T HIT HOT BUTTONS. In the heat of arguing, it is a great temptation to get one's spurs in for just a little dig now and then. If your partner is sensitive about his or her weight, don't bring that up, even jokingly. That only fans the flames. Fun as it may be to get a rise out of the other, it only stifles real conflict resolution.

9) BE VERY CLEAR ABOUT YOUR GOALS IN NEGOTIATION. Before a conflict resolution session starts, sit quietly by yourself and get very clear(writing things down helps) about what you really want from the session. On what points or issues are you willing to concede? What is the real issue here? Do you just feel like fighting and hurting the other rather than making some real behavioral change? One of the major comments of those unfortunate individuals whose job it is to receive complaints from customers or clients is that the complainer seldom states what can be done to resolve the difficulty. Be very sure what you want from the negotiation at the outset and state it.

10) AVOID DEMANDING, INSISTING, AND ULTIMATUMS. Never get the other person in a position from which he or she cannot retreat and save face. To demand or insist upon something creates a dilemma. If the demander gets his or her way, the response is mistrusted because it was not freely given. If the demander does not get his or her way, the other person becomes more stubborn, and negotiations reach an impasse.

11) DO NOT PREACH, LECTURE, ADVISE, OR SCOLD. Rather ask, tell, inform, persuade, reason, etc. The preacher or lecturer in negotiation is soon tuned out and loses effectiveness rapidly.

12) START WITH GENERAL PRINCIPLES. If the confliect resolution session concerns doing housework, for example, start by discussing housework in general. Does the house always need to be spotless? How often do the beds need changing? How often must we take out the trash? Once there is agreement about general principles and issues, the specific points are easier to resolve.

13) DO NOT UNDERMINE TOMORROW'S NEGOTIATIONS. Often, conflict resolution cannot be accomplished in a single session. If it is to be continued, do not, during the hiatus, solicit the support of others, secretly muster evidence, keep secret notes about the faulty behavior of the other, trash talk the other, etc.

14) PICK AN AGREEABLE PLACE, TIME, AND ENVIRONMENT FOR THE NEGOTIATION. Distractions such as blasting televisions, ringing phones, crying babies, salesmen knocking on doors, burning bacon, etc, can serve as major deterrents to conflict resolution. Before discussions start, decide where they are to be held, when, and for hour long. It is generally best to hold such discussions privately, out of earshot of friends, relatives, children, bosses, etc. It is generally best to hold them where there are likely to be few, is any, outside disturbances or interruptions. It is also good that the discussion end at a time which has been decided upon in the negotiation planning. No one wants to negotiate and discuss forever. If issues remain unresolved, additional negotiating sessions can be set up at the end of the first one.

15) USE I-STATEMENTS. In transactional analysis, participants are encouraged to use "I-statements." Start your statements with "I feel...," "I think...," "I believe...," rather than You-statements. Say, "I feel disappointed when you let the children get away with not doing chores," rather than, "You ought to make the children do their chores," or "Every responsible parent sees his children do their chores." Say, "I think sometimes you don't love me when you criticize me in front of friends," instead of, "You're always criticizing me! Stop it!" or "A decent wife would never put her husband in a bad light in front of others." I-statements make clear that you own the feelings and attitudes you express; they are not anyone else's. There are not universal laws which all must ovey. I-statements avoid causing the other to feel that he or she has failed, sinner, committed terrible errors, etc.

16) STICK WITH SPECIFIC BEHAVIORAL CHANGES. Avoid generalities and unclear accusations. Say, "When I came home...," "Someitmes when we have friends over...," etc. rather than "This house is always a mess," or "You always put me down in front of my friends." After all, it is the behavior you hope to change, unless your motive is to be hurtful and revengeful, and then your are not being a negotiator in good faith.

17) SHOW THE OTHER PERSON WHAT BENEFITS HE OR SHE WILL ACHIEVE IN RESOLVING CONFLICT BY NEGOTIATING. As ugly a truth as it may be, frequently the first question one asks when confronted with a proposal is, "what's in it for me?" One can appeal to the well-being of the relationship, a happier family life for all, greater productivity and profit at work, more free time, etc. Do not simply state what benefits will accrue to you; state what benefits for US and for the other are to be gained by agreement.

18) NEVER AGREE OR END THE NEGOTIATION SIMPLY TO MAKE PEACE OF PACIFY THE OTHER PERSON. Often fatigue, anger, disappointment, feelings of defeat, and a host of other things cause on party to agree to something prematurely. That to which he or she agrees may be something about which he or she has serious reservations. Unless those are expressed clearly and resolution found, the conflict is not resolved. Never say "yes" or "no" to a point in the discussion you when you don't really mean it. Most situations can find a resolution, but it can be very time-consuming and stressful. But if the issue is worth it, the time and effort are a cheap price.

19) A possible starting point for a negotiation session is to share a copy of these guidelines with the other. Discuss them; alter them and agree to follow them. Such might be a good entree to laying important groundwork for healthy negotiation.

-TV! Alex is gonna try to get his TV back from his sister, but it's tiny, and while we can live with that, we need a bigger one eventually...his is like, 15 inches.
-a dresser! found a pretty good one on Ikea for $150, and with that and closet space, we should be good.
-a futon/couch! i say futon because they are cheap, and, again, Ikea is our savior with a futon(everything included) for $160. that one isn't orderable online, so we can only get that assuming that it'll fit in the Uhaul. we'll have to see. fortunately, there is another futon for $180 that IS orderable online.
-dishes! boy, do we need dishes. Alex might disagree, but he doesn't know what he'll be taking from his apartment, so i vote for new dishes, especially since, our lord and master Ikea sells whole sets for cheap. and when i say dishes, i mean it: we need plates, bowls, cups, forks, knives, spoons, you name it, we need it. i know Alex has SOME things, but i can't remember what...it was like pulling teeth to get him to buy me a paring knife ;)
-lamps! the most overlooked thing in The Sims games. i just thought i'd mention that. but light is important!
-a bookcase would probably be a good thing to have, since mine is basically full. i have a particle board one, but that won't last long in the book-space continuum.
-sheets! Alex has some sheets and i have some sheets, but i want FLANNEL. and it's good to have more than one set of sheets.
-speaking of sheets, we'll need some blankets and a comforter too! my comforter is getting all lumpy :(

i'll update this as i think of more things we need ^_^

Michelle vs. Meadows

Michelle
Pros
-rent: $695 - $765, depending on whether or not you get a furnished apartment, which Alex and i may need if they are evil and don't give you a fridge. cuz some apartments do that.
-deposit: $800...not bad.
-don't know what the size is, but Alex says it looks big enough for us.
-pretty good reviews, but one bad review >.>
-allows cats
-it has a pooool.
-it's located in Goleta, which is #1 on the "let's live here" totem pole.

Cons
-cats have a $300 deposit
-it's in a pretty bad part of Goleta. you'd have to walk at least twenty minutes to get to a good neighborhood.
-the employees are a little hard to understand and don't seem to know what they're talking about some of the time >.>

Meadows
Pros
-square footage: 663 square feet! that's the second highest size on my apartment list, which has at least 15 apartments on it.
-it's at the end of Isla Vista, where it's quieter.
-it has a bbq area, so Alex can learn how to get fat and talk like you have a piece of straw in your mouth! XD
-cats! woooo!
-no reviews, but no reviews about the manager being a **** either.
-the employees sound nice ^_^

Cons
-rent: the site says $800, but the person who answered at Meadows said "around $1000." while that's okay, Michelle IS cheaper. and does "around" mean over or under $1000? cuz Mom thinks over, but she also thought that every apartment that allowed pets had a pet deposit, but not in SB!
-it's in Isla Vista, which is on the bottom of the "let's live here" totem pole. IV is too small to be it's own thing, but Goleta, Santa Barbara, and Carpinteria all refuse to take it, so it IS it's own thing. that's how bad it is.
-no utilities paid. can we afford that?(Alex says that yes, indeed, we can. it's like, $50 tops)
-PROBABLY has a $300 cat deposit...no apartment in Santa Barbara does, but all apartments in Goleta do, and since IV is kinda lumped in with Goleta, i can only assume.
-unknown deposit! oh nose!

Alex and i are leaning towards Meadows. even though it's in IV, it's in a better part of IV, and that neighborhood seems better than Michelle's. and that's just...a big factor. when we think about living at Michelle, it's like, "oi, Michelle...*unhappy sigh*" but at Meadows, even though it's more expensive, i like how it looks around there ^_^ i'll update this after Alex gets more info on Meadows...like what the rent REALLY is, if the apartments are really that big, and what the deposit is.

la la la. test entry.







whee!